


How It Begins Relates to How It Ends

by MaLady335



Series: You Can't Retire From Being A Dom [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: BDSM, Break Up, Canonical Character Death, Dominatrix, Dominion War (Star Trek), F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, Lesbians in Space, Post-Dominion War (Star Trek), Romulans, Stalking, a bi lesbian and her perfect trans scientist wife, bisexual lesbian romantic character, but not a major part of the story - Freeform, rating for BDSM, very little sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:55:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27955010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaLady335/pseuds/MaLady335
Summary: With the Dominion War over Petrina reflects on her relationship with Senator Vreenak.Final part of You Can't Retire From Being A Dom, a wrap around of Petrina's life as a dominatrix.
Relationships: Original Human Character(s)/Original Romulan Character(s), Vreenak (Star Trek)/Original Character(s)
Series: You Can't Retire From Being A Dom [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1929997
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	How It Begins Relates to How It Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Happy endings are always difficult for me to write but I've had this one planned for Petrina since I started Weakness Within.

Petrina had met Vreenak at a BDSM party. She’d been doming professionally for two years and had earned some trust due to her subs recommendations. Her main sub, who had invited her to the party was just a low ranking Romulan politician, Rurrel. She had met him during a private meet and greet. Like most sorts of private interests it’s all about who you know.

She hadn’t intended to court politicians it just happened that the enthusiasts who could leave their home worlds tended to be either politicians or military. At the time she had two close subs who called on her weekly and five others who asked for her services more sporadically. A few of them were Romulan, a Vulcan, a human and a Klingon who she only saw sporadically and who demanded a lot of discretion. At the time she was living on the edge of the Romulan Neutral Zone.

“I don’t believe we’ve met?” Vreenak had asked approaching her.

Petrina was sitting confidently on a couch. Her sub was on the floor next to her, balancing her glass on his head with practiced ease.

“We haven’t, this is the first party I’ve been to held by our lovely hosts.” She stated looking him over. “I’m Petrina.” She offered her hand which he bowed over respectfully.

Like all of her clientele he was older than her. While not a fan of the regulation haircut that all Romulan military and political operatives had to wear it didn’t look too bad on him. He was also wearing a purple band suggesting he was a sub looking for new a dominant.

“I’ve been to a few of their parties and have always found them enjoyable. I’m Vreenak and I do know Rurrel here,” He gestured to her drink holder who looked at him to acknowledge him, “But I’m surprised he settled on a dominant. It was one of the few qualities we have in common.”

She smirked, “Well I wouldn’t say he’s settled with me. As far as I know he does still partake of other people’s services though he has become fond of me it seems.” She took her drink off her sub. Rurrel shook his head to get the tension out of his neck while she drank. “I am open to new clients if you’re interested?” She smirked over her glass.

His lips turned up in the slightest smile, “I may take you up on that offer. Are you demonstrating tonight?” Vreenak asked watching as she placed her glass back onto her subs head delicately before giving him a pet.

“Not tonight unfortunately. Our hosts want me to show some reliability first.” Petrina’s fingers trailed down to tease at her subs neck.

“Pity I would have loved to see what has so engrossed Rurrel.” The ice in his own glass clinked as he swirled it.

She crossed her legs, “We could do a private demonstration at another time? Rurrel was wanting me all to himself tonight though.” Petrina traced her nails along Rurrel’s naked shoulders, his head shifting slightly as he leaned into the touch before correcting his posture.

The attention in the room shifted as one of the other doms was about to do a demonstration on their sub, “I’ll let you know madam Petrina.” Vreenak left to observe the flogging.

Rurrel was very different from Vreenak. Being very soft spoken and overall had a more relaxed air around him. She often wondered if that was partially why he never rose much in the political sphere. Rurrel was much more of what people think of when they hear the term submissive. He was much more into humiliation and being used as furniture than the more pain oriented side of BDSM.

But unless she was missing out on some Romulan social ques Vreenak and Rurrel did seem to genuinely get along. As the party was winding down she had eased Rurrel out of sub space with some aftercare cuddles on the couch and Vreenak joined them for drinks.

The two Romulans talked while Rurrel was curled up around her. She didn’t have any investment in local poetry so she didn’t contribute to their conversation. Vreenak was wearing plain clothes while Rurrel was shirtless and wearing leather shorts. His legs would tighten around her thigh when she’d run a nail along his ear.

Despite Vreenak’s heavy interest in her that night it took him several weeks to contact her and set up a demonstration. By the standards of what they would end up doing it was rather tame. A light flogging while being bound. Though she would later find out that he hadn’t found a dom that he trusted before her which is why he rarely ever tried the pain levels he actually liked.

The first few years of their relationship were very professional as they got comfortable with one another. A lot of her other subs usually would move on if they found someone they could marry who could do what they liked or sometimes just found a dom they liked better than her. It was Petrina’s job as well as many other dominatrix’s so she didn’t take it personally.

Vreenak was an anomaly in the sense that he was already married when they started. While not an expert on Romulan culture she had noticed how they take their monogamous relationships seriously. It’s part of why so many of her Romulan subs tried to find partners who could do what she did for them since Petrina had no desire for a romantic or monogamous relationship with men.

Several of her human subs were married and generally didn’t think much of it. Their romantic relationships was their business not hers. Vreenak was odd not only because he was married but that he wanted her to meet his wife. While odd in comparison to her other subs she wasn’t against the idea. After three years of him being very reliable and demonstrating that he was trustworthy she took him up on the offer to meet him and his wife for dinner. Of course she wasn’t a Romulan citizen(getting citizenship as any other species than Romulan is practically impossible outside of marriage and that is still difficult to get the Romulan government to acknowledge it) so they didn’t meet on Romulus. Instead they met up at a higher end restaurant on one of the base’s she often goes to in order to meet clients for a single evening. Right now only Vreenak and Rurrel knew where her home was out of her subs.

Going in a vibrant but modest purple dress they were easy to spot. Or at least his wife was, she had such a confident air about her that it had Petrina blushing. It became very obvious as they got through the appetizers why Vreenak wanted them to meet. Petrina didn’t have a lot of friends. She had plenty of contacts and acquaintances, but no one she felt like she could rely on. However she was feeling herself wanting to become friends with Nansix.

“So how long have you been a writer?” Petrina asked, now understanding where she and Vreenak had originally connected. Seems his interest in poetry goes deeper than she thought.

“I’ve been writing since I was a child but I really got into writing poetry when I went to university.” She twirled her noodles around her fork, “I had never expected to end up doing it professionally. Of course my parents still would rather I went into military science like they did but they have come around to it.” Nansix made it clear to Petrina that her experience with only military and political figures of Romulus had really colored her view of them as a people.

While Petrina wouldn’t say Nansix was ‘warm’ in the way humans are but she was definitely much more so than any other Romulan she met. Unlike her husband she didn’t have the typical bowl cut with the slight point. Her hair was longer reaching past her shoulders and had a wavy texture to it. Vreenak for the most part was taking the back seat to their conversation. He seemed to be pleased to see them getting along.

“I’m sure having married Vreenak helped warm them up to it.” She teased, for Romulan’s teasing was very common however was often read as being intentionally rude.

“Oh yes I swear my parents view Vreenak as their child more than me.” She smiled at her as she took a bite, “I don’t suppose your parents approve much of your profession either.” Nansix teased back.

“I wouldn’t know.” Petrina shrugged, “I broke off contact with them years ago.” Before the awkward pause could set in she elaborated, “It’s not something I think to much about anymore. Simply a disagreement over how to treat my younger brother. I helped him leave and the two of us broke off contact with them.” She waved away their concerned look.

“So you and your brother are close than? I’m an only child myself.” Nansix asked.

“Oh yes I supported him through his last years of school and we keep in contact.” Petrina answered taking a drink of her wine.

Was it the wine or Nansix’s smile that was making her blush? Petrina usually wasn’t easily flustered. If either of them noticed they didn’t comment on it. To Petrina the night ended too soon. She found herself so enamored with Nansix they exchanged comms. It almost made her wish she could get a traveler’s visa to Romulus so she could visit. But even just visiting Romulus was like pulling teeth. Though with Vreenak in the running for head of the Tal-Shair she might be able to get passed that vetting process if she chose to pull those strings. But she’d rather not, Petrina wanted to keep firm boundaries between herself and her clients work and asking for favors would definitely be crossing that line.

Petrina and Nansix became fast friends. They talked almost everyday and Petrina even started getting into Romulan poetry to understand her better. While not fluent she started learning what she could of Romulan. Oddly Vreenak seemed ecstatic(at least for him) to see her and his wife becoming friends. Petrina spoke more to Nansix than Vreenak for several years. They would have dinner together several times a year. So when Nansix died in a shuttle accident it had devastated Petrina. She had lost the closest friend she had. There were several times she really wanted to yell at Vreenak to look into her death or something. It just seemed too coincidental that his wife lost her life less than a year after he became head-chairman. But she held her tongue.

This was when things got messy. The year after Nansix’s death had been the hardest for the both of them. Neither of them were handling it well and if Petrina had been in a more emotionally stable place she would have told Vreenak to take a break from BDSM and from her. But she wasn’t and being with Vreenak felt like she was near Nansix. Of course she wasn’t allowed to go to her funeral. And not just because it was on Romulus. It was ‘uncouth’ for a woman of her profession to be seen publicly with her clients no matter their connection or closeness. Neither of them handled her death well. Petrina blames herself in a lot of ways because she was the one who was supposed to be in control. Who is slightly distant to keep the both of them safe. But instead she ran head forwards into it. She had tried to keep it going as it had before. Going about their usual routine as if nothing had changed. But when Vreenak broke down crying during a whipping she had done something she shouldn’t have. Instead of going about their discussed way to deal with him having a bad time, she kissed him. And with him being so vulnerable he kissed her back. He wrapped his arms around her as the scene was broken apart. Pulling herself out of her latex suit his hands ran over her body. Their kiss got deeper, her lipstick smeared over both of their faces. Salt was what they tasted as they were both crying, silently but the tears were still there.

It’s not that they didn’t have sex before, only that it was entirely around BDSM and always with her in the dominant position. Petrina didn’t like mixing emotional intimacy with sex and BDSM. That was her all time boundary and she broke it. Naked under her suit she slide him out of the only thing he was wearing, leather shorts. Ripping the blindfold off he looked up at her from where he was sucking on her nipples. Climbing on top of her she wrapped her legs around his hips. And they fucked right there in the middle of her floor. Scene abandoned, walls that had been built and respected for years busted through with a sledgehammer.

To say that their love affair was doomed from the start was an understatement. She had started cutting down her other clients time to spend more with Vreenak. They were meeting outside of their BDSM relationship several times a week. He would often stay the night rather than go home. Of course like all sorts of relationships built on a shared trauma at first it seemed to help them both. They had something to bond over, to talk and cry about. However as it grew, as their relationship stopped being just an affair and more of a real relationship Petrina snapped out of it.

It was getting close to the six month mark of their relationship. She was laying in bed reading, Vreenak going over some padds next to her. A comfortable silence was between them. One that was built on years of trust. He had reached over and took her hand into his own. Looking over at him Petrina smiled, he smiled back. Like with Vulcan’s the hands were an intimate place to touch, though not to the same extent.

She turned back to her book, “Petrina?” He asked, his voice tender.

“Yes?” She looked back over at him.

“How would you feel about moving to Romulus with me?” He ran his thumb over her knuckles.

Ice flooded her, “That seems like a big commitment to just want easier access to your dom.” She tried to lace it with teasing to avoid revealing how tense that made her.

“Well I want to make that commitment because I love you.” He squeezed her hand.

That had her freeze in place. Vreenak either didn’t notice or just refused to as he talked about his plans for their future. She didn’t love Vreenak and he didn’t love her, not really. They were chasing ghosts together. What kind of relationship did they even have? They had very little in common outside of their BDSM stuff. This declaration of love snapped her out of the delusion of believing that he could fill the void in her. And she had found herself in Nansix’s place. It was clear to her that this could not continue like this. It wasn’t healthy and certainly not what she wanted. She had tried to break it off lightly then but Vreenak wasn’t having it. So many months trying to reestablish boundaries that they had shattered wasted. Trying to just slip back into their previous relationship just wasn’t working. It was obvious to Petrina that he had become dependent on her. The exact thing she tried to never do. For any dominate to make their sub entirely depend on them for validation and emotional support was a massive abuse of power. It disturbed her that she allowed this to happen. 

So she broke it off with Vreenak. Petrina contacted some people to help him get back on his feet emotionally and left him. He didn’t take it well when she told him, which was to be expected. She had him meet her at her place. He smiled when he saw her, Vreenak reached to take her hands in his own. A romantic gesture. She stepped away from his approach.

“Vreenak I’ve told you that I don’t want a romantic relationship.” She started.

“I know but it’s hard. I just miss you so much.” It was so strange to see this usually uppity, cold man get so emotionally vulnerable so quickly.

She had really fucked up, “Vreenak it’s clear to me that what we have here isn’t healthy, especially for you.” His posture tightened, “So It would be best if we broke off contact from one another.” Petrina tried to make it as clear as possible.

“What have I done wrong?” Vreenak asked, his voice softer.

“You haven’t done anything wrong. I over stepped my boundaries. We need to stop playing pretend with each other and wake up so we can move on with our actual lives.” She kept her voice calm and as judgment free as possible.

“But I love you.” He stepped towards her and she saw him resist trying to grab her hands again.

“No you don’t Vreenak.” That had his brow knitting together in anger.

“You don’t get to tell me how I feel.” He said crossing his arms.

“No I don’t but what exactly do you love about me?” He opened his mouth to answer then closed it again.

Petrina gave him several seconds to answer, “See. You don’t actually love me Vreenak. You love that I’m here. If I’m here than you don’t have to think about going on without Nansix just like me having you here does the same for me.” Vreenak was staring at the floor.

He had been so furious he didn’t even respond he just turned around and left her home. She had unknowingly placed herself as the center of his universe. Not that she wasn’t affected either. She did care about him despite not loving him. But she tried to move on with her life and dedicate herself back to her other subs that she had pushed to the wayside. 

Rurrel had been especially bothered by her lack of attention. If she hadn’t been so in her own head about Vreenak and Nansix she would have seen the red flags. Petrina rarely had the problem of ‘clingy’ or ‘controlling’ subs. She made clear boundaries and enforced them well which pushed away the worst sort of subs. Whether Rurrel had always been obsessived with her or whether it developed after she started ignoring him is unknown to her. Only that four months after she broke it off with Vreenak she woke up and found Rurrel in her home, looming over her bed.

She took a deep breath to try and keep herself calm, “Rurrel what are you doing here?” She asked trying to keep her voice even.

“I missed you.” The darkness of her room made it so she could just barely make him out.

The specifics of his expression lost to her and she was too afraid to call the lights up to see, “Well that’s why you should message or call. You know I don’t like unscheduled appointments.” Petrina felt proud of her even voice.

He sat on the bed next to her, he ran a hand up her leg, “I know,” She was thankful for the blanket separating their skin, “I messaged and called several times but you’ve been ignoring me again.” Her skin crawled at the slight shift in his tone.

“Rurrel I have a life outside of our arrangement.” She took another deep breath, “And right now you need to leave. This is my home and it is not okay for you to just come in here.” Her voice growing hard to show that this was not acceptable.

“Can’t I just stay the night? You used to let Vreenak do that.” He pleaded, his voice imitating the one he liked to use during scenes.

It was no longer charming, “And I broke it off with Vreenak because that was not what I wanted. Right now I want you to leave. If you cannot respect that I will make you.” Her voice slowly deepening to back her statement.

He didn’t say anything else which was bizarre. Rurrel just squeezed her knee through the blanket and then stood to leave. She had changed her locks the next morning and avoided all contact with Rurrel and the circles they both walked in. It was Vreenak of all people who came to help her. Since she had to abandon a lot of her subs in order to distance herself from Rurrel she was essentially alone. Vreenak had called her seemingly out of the blue.

“Petrina I hear you are no longer going to parties and other meet and greets. I hope it isn’t due to me?” He asked, genuinely concerned. 

“No it’s not because of you. Rurrel has grown…..untenable as a sub so I separated from the local community to enforce distance between us. I’ve even been considering moving away.” She answered honestly. 

Glad to see him despite everything that happened between them.

“Yes if he’s to the point where you want to move best to just do it. It would be the safest course of action, especially due to his political connections.” He responded, “However I have more than he does in that regard and I would happily put those walls up for you for something in return.” He said his hands folded together.

“What exactly?” She asked.

“I want our old arrangement back. I miss you Petrina.” His voice wavered just slightly at that revelation. 

She paused to consider it. The likelihood that they’d be able to completely keep their relationship emotion free was extremely low. Though the help he could give her would be invaluable to removing herself from Rurrel’s radar.

“I will agree but only if we have a serious renegotiation of terms. I do not want us to make the same mistakes as before.” She stated, not wanting him to misunderstand that this was the requirement if he wanted to see her again.

“I accept.” Was his answer.

And this was how she ended up on DS9 working a different job for months. It was why they made a hard rule of no penetrative sex and no ‘real’ kissing. They kept their relationship as business like as possible. Of course since Petrina was lonely again they slipped up. Such as her spending time with him outside of BDSM again. Yet they never let it get as bad as before, those emotional scars weren’t ones they were going to forget. After Dukat she had Weyoun as a sub for a few weeks but lost contact with him after the Federation took back DS9. So she kept her distance from the war as much as possible to avoid both of them. This was how she didn’t find out about Vreenak’s death till days after the fact. No one called her, no one thought to tell her at all. Petrina found out in a broadcast reporting on it and how it was why the Romulan’s were joining the Federation against the Dominion. 

The funeral was already over when she heard about his death. Not that she would have been allowed to go. Her longest running relationship was gone and she didn’t even have the respect of those around her to tell her about it. The fact Weyoun had been involved certainly didn’t help matters. It made her feel a sense of guilt all over again. Not that she actually did anything wrong, in fact Vreenak had been very supportive of Weyoun becoming her sub. Petrina really needed to stop blaming herself for the choices of others. The rest of the war was hard on her. Those months she felt very alone, isolated. She had broken it off with the few subs she still had. There was no way she was stable enough to handle the power she had over them, she wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

What had pulled her out of her slump was when she started actively dating. She was tired of not having any close emotional relationships. Holding herself up emotional was draining and dangerous. After several no starters she met Lavee, a Romulan scientist. Lavee was so different than any of her previous partners. She was funny and charming and they agreed politically. Petrina would probably had never met her if it wasn’t for the war. Scientists were needed out to repair and study things for the war effort giving Romulan citizens a chance to leave Romulus. They had hit it off right away. And since Petrina didn’t have to worry about money she followed Lavee where ever she was sent. Sure it was a little dangerous, because you know war but it was worth it to be near her. To be close to someone she cared about.

When the war was over Lavee had proposed to her. It was the happiest Petrina had ever been. There was of course a bureaucratic fight with the Romulan government to acknowledge their marriage since Petrina wasn’t Romulan. But them having helped win the war with the Federation had lowered some of the restrictions making it go much smoother than it could have. It’s how Petrina finds herself where she is now. On Romulus, married with a child on the way. She still does BDSM professionally. Lavee being the love of her life didn’t change her enjoyment of BDSM. They did do stuff together as well but Lavee wasn’t as invested in it as Petrina was. Petrina had even started teaching classes.

She still thinks about Vreenak from time to time. Since she’s moved to Romulus she visits his grave every year on the date they met to leave him his favorite flowers. His marker was put next to his wife, they didn't have any children. She always brought a bouquet for Nansix, who she now realized she had a major crush on. Petrina misses them, and she has her regrets. But without them, without having made the mistakes she did she never would have grown to be someone worth Lavee. She wouldn’t have been open, ready for or even looking for a real relationship without having done what she did. So despite the negative feeling she has for her mistakes she is thankful for them. For without them she would never have found her happiness. 

End of You Can’t Retire From Being a Dom

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna be honest not my best writing, but I had this sitting in my documents for ages and just couldn't work around to getting it how I want. I might one day do a rewrite where I expand on certain sections of her life. 
> 
> You know really go into the nitty gritty of their relationship but that is a much bigger project than what I've had the energy for. I felt that having it off my mind would help me get around to finishing my other writing projects and leave my brain space open to some new writing.


End file.
